Your rucksack might as well have arse raped me....

So , i`m on pikey taxi this morning...reading my Keith Richards Life...builders to the left of me , smokers to the right here i am, one seat just waiting for you...you know that feeling , youre reading but you just know something unpleasant is gonna plant its arse right next to you...so im just at the point where Anita Pallenburg is giving Keef a blowjob in his Bentley Continental flying spur (monster motor by the way,but thats another story) and i get something altogether depraved shoved straight in my mooey (face for all you cambridge`ers)...I cant quite come to my senses quick enough but this maniac is rubbing this thing all over my bonce..."what the FUCK  ?" i half say , half shout...And this fucking waste of cranium space turns round and says she`s sorry...she`s clearly got that too many bits of hand luggage syndrome..i mean what the fuck do you need all that shit for anyway ??? Carrier bags , laptop bag , shopping bag and the main offender , a cunting http://bit.ly/eA7C0u !!!! What the fucking fuck ??? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK !!!! Seriously kiddo , you stole my Rolling Stones blowjob in valencia scene with a fucking http://bit.ly/eA7C0u.... why , i oughtta sock you in your derrty south !! Rubbing that gimp shizz all over my face you crusty http://bit.ly/erqn1y !!! Oh man , is there any worse style on this big lump of beautiful Earth than that shit ? Now she starts to grate on me , she has an I-Phone (immediate cunt) but aside from that its the way she uses it , she`s stroking it like its some kind of future cat from Judge Dred...All she needs now is some fucking magic wand like http://bbc.in/cYHh92 from Rent-A-Ghost and she`s there...a fully fledged fucktard that plays world of warcraft whilst plunging an arcane medievil dildo in and out of her clapped out minge...so i start to battle with myself now , " now now mate , calm down , she`s just one of lifes many CUNTS ! " Lord give me the strength to not do a http://bit.ly/eOHG3K and lay waste to every poor sod in sight...but she gets off at Bethnal Green and saves me the fucking bother...